The “Human Washing Machine” Is Here, and Congratulations to Everyone Who Just Invented the Bath... Again

Every few years, humanity creates something so revolutionary, so groundbreaking, so mind bending, that it forces us to question everything we thought we knew. Electricity. The internet. The Large Hadron Collider.
And now, joining this pantheon of innovation, we proudly welcome… the Human Washing Machine.

Yes. A pod you sit inside. It fills with water. It cleans you.
So basically, a bath.
A futuristic, high tech, $385,000 bath shaped like a coffin for your dignity.

This marvel of modern engineering, created by a Japanese company called Science Inc., has officially launched after debuting at the Osaka World Expo. You slide into a giant sci fi egg, it seals shut, and then microbubbles wash your body, rinse you, dry you, and presumably judge your life choices. It even plays relaxing music and "washes your soul," which is a bold claim for something that is literally a very expensive tub.

The whole process takes 15 minutes and requires zero effort, which is exactly how normal baths work, except those don't usually cost more than a luxury car or a small apartment.

To be fair, this isn't really meant for regular households. The target buyers are high end spas, hotels, onsens, and ultra fancy resorts where someone can say "Excuse me, where is your soul cleansing bubble pod?" without being escorted out.

The machine is enormous, hand built, and only 40 to 50 units will ever exist. A few hotels have already pre ordered theirs, because apparently some people really want to feel like they're being prepped for interstellar cryosleep before dinner.

But here is the wild part. This idea is not even new. It was first shown in 1970. Meaning we have had 55 years to rebrand a bathtub into a high tech wellness cocoon.

Honestly, I respect the hustle.

One day there may be a consumer model, so maybe we will all have a $400k bath pod in our homes. Until then, I will stick with my current setup.
A normal shower. Which also washes the body. And occasionally, the soul.